My Embarassing Moments

     Kids can truly say the darndest things. My kids just haven't developed that filter yet that most of us adults have learned to use. At times it is so funny to hear what they are thinking... and other times I want to hide in a hole. Like the other day, when I was out shopping for feminine products, my daughter B asked, " Are those mommy diapers?" The two men that were standing at the end of the aisle both looked right at me.            Awkward. How in the world do you answer that?
   Then a few days later I took my oldest with me while dress shopping for my friends wedding. In the middle of pulling a dress off over my head, N wants to know, " Why does your tummy look like that?"
    The entire dressing room went completely quiet and still. I am sure everyone wanted to hear my response. After all it was a valid question. I am still wondering why my stomach looks like this too! Luckily or unluckily, not all their comments are about my stretch marks.
    We once saw a man at Walmart who was missing an eye and in the loudest voice possible I hear one of my daughters ask, "Why is there a scary pirate in the store?"
      We have also been through the "Why is that man have such a big belly?", and "Is she having a baby?", to a woman who was clearly too elderly to be pregnant. Usually I just put my head down and walk as fast as I can with 6 kids, in the opposite direction, which usually ends up with my kids repeating the question louder and louder until I answer them.
     One of the hardest things is when my kids are trying to describe people well, so I know just who they are talking about. They describe hair, outfits, ages, heights, etc., whenever they don't know someone's name. Of course this list should also include skin color. When it comes to race, no matter how innocent the comment, it always comes out sounding bad. So the other day we were shopping for a new kitchen stove, this wonderful woman snuck me in the back of the store to the loading docks so I could see more inventory. While the girls and I walked back there, there was a woman's voice over the intercom system. My daughter, who was 4 at the time, said just as loudly as possible, " Was that the black lady?" Of course the wonderful woman assisting us was African American, and she paused in her step for just a second when she heard my daughter question, but then continued walking. I was so shocked/embarrassed that I didn't know how to start the lesson of not describing people by their skin color. Of course my daughter didn't mean it in a bad way, but it is just one of those things that sounds wrong no matter how it is said. I have since banned my kids from using skin color as a way to describe people because I just can not find any way to make it not seem offensive.
    And of course we have all been there when our child announces to the world the they have to poop or that they just went poop or that something smells like a poop. Really, anything that they say that includes the word poop, ends up being cringe worthy.
    Our most resent and favorite laugh has been that C has decided to name her female parts her "Wawa". No idea why, but that is what she calls it. Of course, living in Delaware means that there is a real Wawa on every corner and that any time someone says they are going to Wawa, I have to quickly explain to my daughter why they are not using a potty word. Not to mention the looks we get when she announces that her brother kicked the ball in her Wawa.
   The only time that their embarrassing comments are enjoyable is when they make those comments when they are not with me and I get to hear about them afterward. Like the other day when my wonderful mother-in-law took my youngest son to the store with her.She is an avid shopper and like to take a full tour of every store she visits. Apparently while walking past the women's underwear aisle he announced he really liked "those" (silky lacy undies) and from that point forward he kept asking for a pair of his own.

So I was thinking today about how much kids really change your life. In fact, I realized that they steal your life. They take all the things that you worked so hard to get. They take your money, your sleep, your food, and your freedom. They take your time, your patience, and sometimes even your soul. But... They replace all those things with something words can't describe. All the things I thought I would want, all the things money can buy, no longer have value. I have learned to operate on less then a third of the sleep that I used to need. I get more out of my day, and waste less time in bed. I have learned to enjoy more time in the kitchen and have so much fun baking with my kids. I am no longer free to do whatever I want, when I want, but my day has so much more meaning. I am never alone , but I am cuddled all day long. I have lost my patience more then once but I have gained an appreciation for my mom, that I never would have otherwise. And they have taken my soul and changed everything about me. They made me better then I ever could have been. I have four reasons to try harder every day and make the most out of LIFE.

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Choices

I read this quote the other day that said you become an adult when you realize that you can not only accept the good consequences from your decisions, but all the bad consequences also. I think being adult means you realize that those consequences reach far more people then we realize. Our decions affect everyone around us, no matter how small it may seem. I think all of our adolesence we think "it's my life", "it's my decision", "let me make my own mistakes". But the truth is, we're not just deciding for us. We're deciding for so many other people in our lives. This week there was two young girls that committed suicide together, in our area, by walking out in front of a train. I am sure they realized that it would make their parents and family members sad, but I doubt they realized how many people it would really have an affect on. For one, the train driver. How helpless he had to feel watching these two young children walk out in front of his train and being completely helpless and unable to stop. I am sure that moment has changed his life forever. It will change how he looks at his job, possible how he parents his own children, and how he views life. And that's just one person. How about the students from the girls school. Each of their lives will be different because of it. Maybe it will stop another child from making a similar decision, because they will realize how big of a mistake it is. Maybe some of them will value their own lives more, and maybe others will value life less because of the confusion they feel. In my own life, i never realized how many people would be affected by my decisions. How I choose to treat strangers, may completely change how they go about the rest of their day. Maybe if I smile more and truly mean it, they will go home and treat they're family nicer. When i think of the small things that affect so many people, it makes me realize how important it is to make the right decisions.

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Friendship during trials

All the hard times in life are made easier by having a friend close by. It was always better to start a new school year when you knew you had a friend in the class or a friend who saved you a seat on the bus. Getting older, it was nice to have a friend by you when you went to talk to the boy you had a crush on for the first time or when you had your first break up. Some people are lucky to have those life long friends from the sand box days, but most of us develope new friends for each stage of our lives. I remeber reading a story in a parenting magazine about how these two women became best friends when they were pregnant. They had all their birthing classes together, delivered their babies within a cuple days of each other and spent several days a week together before the kids started school. Then whent he kids were gone off to school, the women grew apart. They didn't have as much to talk about anymore and had very different opinions on how to handle certian issues with their kids. I though it was so wierd to her that two people so close could just lose their friendship. I have never been one of those people lucky enough to live in oneplace long enugh to have a best friend that I spent every waking moment with. But I have been lucky enough to have many great frinds who have been there for me and have done more for me then I could ever repay them for. I have also had periods of time where my closest friend was just my husband. And although I am incredibly grateful for the wonderful man he is, I havemissed having someone to have girl time with. Someone who understands what PMS really is, who wants to go get there nails done, or can eat chocolate with me on a bad day. They were periods of time when my life was changing so much and I experienced those same feelings that the woman from the magazine had spoken of. I grew apart from friends and when I was going through some hard moments, I didn't feel that they would understand how I felt. The hardest was when I had my miscarriage. It is so hard to explain to someone who has never had a child, how important the one that you lost was. How can they understand why it is something that you never really get over and why it will change you forever. It was at the moment that I realized I had noone to call who would understand how much I hurt that I realized the one person who would. I knew then that I married my best friend. He knew the pain, he cried with me, he knew what I was feeling without me having to say anything. One morning right after I woke-up to find the other half of my bed empty. When I went downstairs to find him, I saw John out back with a beautiful tree in a pot. He bought the tree as a our little reminder of the life we lost. There are so many different types of friendship and they are all so important to getting us through this life. I am so thankful for all the friends that passed through my life.

No more cartoons

I know at 25 i should already feel like a grown up and the little things shouldn't surprise me anymore. This morning started earlier then i prefer and when the sprout channel came on at 6, the bad mood started. I really don't like cartoons anymore. I can remember as a kid watching my shows and when an adult would come in and turn my cartoons off i would think," when I grow up I am never gonna watch these kinds of shows. Why do grown-ups like the news so much?" And now i look at the cartoons and think how can my kids go into such a trance watching something so pointless? I mean, I can't complain to much because they provide a welcome reprieve from chasing the kid, but I swear my cartoons were so much better. Whatever happened to "Fraggle Rock", or the good version of "My Little Ponies", or even the "Gummies". Instead they have "The Wiggles"? How creepy are those guys? At least Sesame Street isn't going anywhere.

Christmas

This year Christmas was amazing. My parents decided to adopt a family of 12 for the holidays. The father had been laid off not long after suffering from severe health issues that left the family with huge medical bills. I was not raised in a large family, had a very small amount of extended family, and never really understood the workings of a big family. Besides getting reminded of what the season is all about my parents generosity, I also got reminded of the importance of family. It was quite amazing to see how the family all watched over each other. The older kids helped the younger ones, the younger kids were eager to show the siblings their new toys, and all but two children out of ten slept in the same room on two twin beds at my parents house... and liked it! I even found out that although they have a five bedroom house, they choose to use only three bedrooms. The family loves to be together. Maybe it was because of their situation or maybe becasue of how the family is inside, you could see their thankfullness for evey gift they recieved. I have always been judgemental of large families. They are not what I am used to and I truelly did not understand them. I guess I had a childish point of view and felt bad for the older kids who truelly do have to help raise the younger children. As a parent, I now get to see what a blessing that is instead of a curse. To see a teenage boy pick up his one year old baby sister, cradle her and take her to find some toys and play with her, stole my heart. What a wonderful father he will make some day not to mention the help he will give his wife. When I had my first, I remeber the nurse handing me the baby after she was all cleaned up and as she was lowered into my arms, I realized I had no idea what to do with a baby. I didn't know how to hold, talk to, bath, or care for a child. I am not even sure that I had held a baby since I was very little. As my daughter grew it was constant not knowing what to do. The kids of the family that I mentioned will all know what to do. What a head start into parenting that will be for them. Not to mention what a wonderful gift they have that each child has at least nine friends to be there for them. I realized this christmas that the greatest gift I have given my kids is each other. They will have the support of each other to make it through life. To cheer each other on. And isn't that christmas? The gift of life, love, and family. The true gifts.

One piece swimsuits

I know it seems like the worst idea ever, but I tried on some swimsuits the other day. Because modesty is a very important part of my religion, not to mention I have the marks to show I birthed four children, I wear something that covers my stomache. At Marshalls, they actually had some really cute looking one peices. I thought I would try some on just for kicks and then I was reminded that my body was not built like everyone else who can wear a one piece. No matter what size I tried on, the section that was supposed to be on my chest was down right above my belly-button. I am not very tall, but I have a long body and short legs. So then I moved onto the tank-ini's. I could kiss the person who invented them. Beside the obvious fact that they fit so much better, how awesome is it not to have to pull your whole swimsuit down just to go pee? Only one more problem. Since my kids stole my rearend I need a small bottom, and also due to my kids I need a larger top. Of course most places don't sell them seperate, except the mall and then the swimsuit's price tag gets a zero added to the end. Can't win!