Friday, April 16, 2010

My Embarassing Moments

     Kids can truly say the darndest things. My kids just haven't developed that filter yet that most of us adults have learned to use. At times it is so funny to hear what they are thinking... and other times I want to hide in a hole. Like the other day, when I was out shopping for feminine products, my daughter B asked, " Are those mommy diapers?" The two men that were standing at the end of the aisle both looked right at me.            Awkward. How in the world do you answer that?
   Then a few days later I took my oldest with me while dress shopping for my friends wedding. In the middle of pulling a dress off over my head, N wants to know, " Why does your tummy look like that?"
    The entire dressing room went completely quiet and still. I am sure everyone wanted to hear my response. After all it was a valid question. I am still wondering why my stomach looks like this too! Luckily or unluckily, not all their comments are about my stretch marks.
    We once saw a man at Walmart who was missing an eye and in the loudest voice possible I hear one of my daughters ask, "Why is there a scary pirate in the store?"
      We have also been through the "Why is that man have such a big belly?", and "Is she having a baby?", to a woman who was clearly too elderly to be pregnant. Usually I just put my head down and walk as fast as I can with 6 kids, in the opposite direction, which usually ends up with my kids repeating the question louder and louder until I answer them.
     One of the hardest things is when my kids are trying to describe people well, so I know just who they are talking about. They describe hair, outfits, ages, heights, etc., whenever they don't know someone's name. Of course this list should also include skin color. When it comes to race, no matter how innocent the comment, it always comes out sounding bad. So the other day we were shopping for a new kitchen stove, this wonderful woman snuck me in the back of the store to the loading docks so I could see more inventory. While the girls and I walked back there, there was a woman's voice over the intercom system. My daughter, who was 4 at the time, said just as loudly as possible, " Was that the black lady?" Of course the wonderful woman assisting us was African American, and she paused in her step for just a second when she heard my daughter question, but then continued walking. I was so shocked/embarrassed that I didn't know how to start the lesson of not describing people by their skin color. Of course my daughter didn't mean it in a bad way, but it is just one of those things that sounds wrong no matter how it is said. I have since banned my kids from using skin color as a way to describe people because I just can not find any way to make it not seem offensive.
    And of course we have all been there when our child announces to the world the they have to poop or that they just went poop or that something smells like a poop. Really, anything that they say that includes the word poop, ends up being cringe worthy.
    Our most resent and favorite laugh has been that C has decided to name her female parts her "Wawa". No idea why, but that is what she calls it. Of course, living in Delaware means that there is a real Wawa on every corner and that any time someone says they are going to Wawa, I have to quickly explain to my daughter why they are not using a potty word. Not to mention the looks we get when she announces that her brother kicked the ball in her Wawa.
   The only time that their embarrassing comments are enjoyable is when they make those comments when they are not with me and I get to hear about them afterward. Like the other day when my wonderful mother-in-law took my youngest son to the store with her.She is an avid shopper and like to take a full tour of every store she visits. Apparently while walking past the women's underwear aisle he announced he really liked "those" (silky lacy undies) and from that point forward he kept asking for a pair of his own.