Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Life's Suprises

The last 5 years of my life has been full of suprises. It's felt like a drive in the country in the middle of the night when you have your high beams on and still can't see what's around the next corner, or what is going to pop out on the road in front of you. Most of my surprises have been more then wonderful. I married John sooner then expected, had four wonderful kids, graduated college, enjoyed work, and now enjoying staying at home. We were so lucky to get John an amazing job that afforded us the opportunity to own a home much earlier then expected. There have really been so many blessings. At the same time, as soon as the ride seems to go smoothly, there is a curve in the road or something jumping in front of us that causes us to really hit our brakes. We had the unexpected complications with my pregnancy with Brooke, who tried to come out earlier then planned, followed by me hemorrhaging after delivery. Not long after buying our first home and passing the 12 week "safe" mark of my third pregnancy, I found out I was going to miscarry. Definitely one of the hardest moments a mom has to go through, made harder by the fact I had to come up with an explanation a 2 and 3 year old could understand. The sadness only lessened when we were happy to find out that I was pregnant again and more then excited we would have a little "John". Not long after his birth we were knocked off cloud nine by news that he was close to suffering brain damage by the rising bilirubin levels in his blood. We again made it through the ordeal with a happy, healthy baby. Again after being suprised with baby number four, we found out that there was a very good chance John might lose his job before the baby would arrive. After going through the months of biting our nails, the Union and Sunoco reached an agreement. Chloe arrived this summer and has been more then a burst of sunshine to our family. She has really brought a whole new level of happiness to our home. And yet here we are again facing another layoff and the very really fact that we would be much better off selling our home before the end of the year and waiting to buy a new house for several months. Although everything seems so unpredictable, I really think we are haapier now then we have ever been. I think if my married life had been more predictable, it wouldn't be as amazing as it is now. I realized that at every moment when life has taken one of those sharp turns, it was an opportunity for John and I to hold on to each other and make it through. Each problem has left us stronger as a partners and parents. I think that is what God's plan is. He presents problems as opportunites. How else could we learn? If life just went along "perfectly", we wouldn't need each other, we wouldn't grow, we wouldn't really do anything. But each time we feel things are out of our control and we lean on each other, whether its parents, spouses, or friends, we grow together. We learn how strong we really are. We learn how much we really love each other. We learn what truelly makes us happy and what really is important. Then, as soon as life gets easy again, we start to forget. We get back in old patterns, we spend when we should save, we say I love you less often then we should, we start to think we are doing things by ourselves, until we are knocked back down again and have to learn what we should already know. What a perfect plan God has. He continues to offer us opportunites to learn even repeat lessons and he gives us the people who are most able to help us through. Man, as many times as I have been knocked on my butt I must really forget fast.

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