So I will never be a clothing designer, but I always wanted to design a line of maternity shirts with cute slogans on them. Mostly it's just the things I was thinking while I was pregnant but could never say out loud. And this way if it was on a t-shirt, people would get less offended. If anyone who reads this owns a t-shirt printing company and wants to steal these, go ahead. I will give you my address to send my royalties check to. If anyone wants to add to them, awesome.
1. (Across the stomach) Private Property!
2. Alien 4 (or whatever number child it is for you)
3. When am I due for what?
4. Just because I am pregnant doesn't mean I want to hear all the horrible things that happened to you when you were pregnant. I have a little person in my stomach kicking my kidneys! I think I am freaked out enough. It's like Thumper said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!"
5. No I am not pregnant I just like chocolate....a lot.
6. Do I know what it is? I am hoping it's a baby.
7. I'm not sleeping, my skin is tearing, I spend more time in the bathroom then in any other part of my house, my organs are being shoved around, I am craving gross things, my feet are swollen so big they are stuck in my shoes, my pelvic bone just cracked open, and I lost my belly button last week ...... so no honey, I am Not in the mood.
8. Immaculate Conception number 3
9. This is my fourth attempt at giving my Father-in-Law a heart attack!
10. I make Dolly Parton jealous.... you just can't tell because I have a stomach to match.
11. Do I need anything...... I need someone to tie my shoes for me.
12. No they are not all mine. I stole 2 of them from the lady in line behind me.